


To Be The Greatest

by Fair_Feather_Friend



Category: Original Work
Genre: Best Swordsman in the Land, Fairy Tale Elements, First Time, Innuendo, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Witch Curses, Witches, Worst Swordsman In The Land
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fair_Feather_Friend/pseuds/Fair_Feather_Friend
Summary: "I want to be the Greatest Swordsman in the Land," Fabio declared."Wonderful," The Witch replied. "And I want a gorgeous man, who'll sweep me off of my feet, but we can't always get what we want."Fabio stepped forward, sweeping The Witch up into his arms, dipping him down into a passionate kiss that promised so much more. "Who says we can't?"~A tale of a witch and two men who like swords.
Relationships: Chivalrous Male Knight/Male Witch Who Is Feared But Actually Good
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22
Collections: Canon Ball 2020





	To Be The Greatest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Plaid_Slytherin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/gifts).



> I hope this is okay. I was originally aiming for Best Swordsman/Worst Swordsman but this ended up happening instead.

Fabio 

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a very beautiful man by the name of Fabio. While it was not the name he was born with, it was the one he believed he deserved, for he was so utterly fabulous that he never had to work for anything, because people just gave it to him. 

One day, there was a tournament announced, and Fabio who'd boasted time and time again of his fabulous sword-fighting skills found himself in a spot of trouble. His crowd of admirers, kept urging him to stop being his usual humble self, and to compete, so he could prove himself the best, win the King's respect, and the admiration of all the Knights in the land. 

Fabio was stuck in something of a bind, and after considering getting the tournament cancelled, or all the other Knights falling sick, he set upon a fool-proof solution. If he couldn't win with might then he'd win with magic. And so Fabio went to visit the local witch.

"I want to be the Greatest Swordsman in the Land," Fabio announced.

"Well, hello to you too, how are you, dispensing with the social niceties I see, cutting right to the point, I do love a man who knows what he wants," The Witch replied. "Every journey starts with a single step, pick up a sword, start practicing, find yourself a teacher, you might be a bit old but I'm sure with some and dedication you'll get there."

Fabio would have wrinkled his nose at being called too old for anything, but he was too focused on his goal.

"No," Fabio replied. "I want to be the Greatest Swordsman in the Land by next month. I want to win the tournament."

"Wonderful, good for you," The Witch replied. "And I want a gorgeous man, who'll sweep me off of my feet, but we can't always get what we want."

Fabio stepped forward, sweeping The Witch up into his arms, dipping him down into a passionate kiss that promised so much more. "Who says we can't?"

Lying in bed, the next day, after a night of vigorous athletic activity, Fabio made his request again and the Witch, who was rather enchanted, said. "You know that I'm not a fairy-godmother, nor am I a genie to be granting wishes." 

"You can't do it then?"

The Witch's gaze swept down that gorgeous body, and never before had he known such a beautiful man, and especially not one that had wanted him. "I never said that. There's a price to the spell and a few ingredients you must gather for me."

"I don't care," Fabio replied. And he didn't.

\---

Alain

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young shepherd named Alain, who dreamed of helping others. Ever since he was a boy and could hold a stick, he pretended it was a sword to fend off villains and save those that needed him, but dreams were not enough. 

He chopped wood for the fire, and carried water from the well, he helped any who asked it of him, and he watched over the sheep. 

One day, a Knight rode by, atop a stunning bay stallion, and he was the most magnificent thing that Alain had ever seen.

"Shepherdess!" the Knight declared. "Bring me a sheep so that I might feast. It has been too long since I've enjoyed fresh mutton."

Alain bit his tongue, and did not correct the Knight in anything that he said although he was mighty tempted to do so. "My Lord, these sheep are thin, and would ill suit your tastes, of course if you insist then I will do as you ask. But allow me to offer these delicious coneys instead, that I took down just this morn with my sling, and have already spent the time skinning. I was about to cook them up, and you will not need to wait."

And while the Knight really did fancy himself a sheep, he supposed that would take somewhat longer to prepare and so he agreed to the shepherd's offering. And after devouring the most delicious meal he had had in a long time, he said to the boy. "As a reward for your hospitality, fair maiden, I shall make you my…" 

"Sir," Alain said. "My name is Alain, and I am a shepherd in charge of these here sheep, as I am sure you know. You are kind to call me a maiden but such is not the truth." 

"As I was saying, boy, as a reward for your hospitality, I shall make you my squire." 

Alain, who knew there was little point in arguing with men who had sharp blades, said. "Let us visit my family first and tell them the good news."

Alain's family, who were absolutely delighted that this extremely well-armed man had shown an interest in their son, and not their daughters were only too happy to offer their blessing to the arrangement. 

Alain served that Knight, and he worked hard, training every single day and he strove to be the best he could be at everything the Knight asked of him. 

He grew to love the blade for its own sake, the perfect forms, the beauty and the dance of swordplay. He travelled far and wide with his Knight master, and in each place he sought out more knowledge of the art of swordplay. Wherever they visited he hunted down new teachers, new swordsmen to try and master their ways, new people to test himself against. He watched, he fought, he lost so often, and slowly but surely he learned. 

The greatest swordsman alive is subjective. Is it counted in duels fought, or those won, is it counted by mere survival, or peer review or is it just what the general populace thinks? He must know when to fight and when not to.

When Fabio was told to hunt down the greatest swordsman and return with an item of his, it seemed far too much like hard work, and so he paid a small child a penny to do it for him. 

The child didn't choose any of the scary men and women in armour, those too rich and important enough to notice a small girl. Instead she picked the nice young man, with the easy smile, who spared a moment for her when he noticed her shivering in the cold, as she watched him train. He gave to her the nicest blanket she had ever held, made of the warmest wool, and she made sure to only give Fabio a tiny snip of the corner. 

For a certain Witch, the greatest swordsman alive, was a young man, he'd met years before, and still dreamed of. A squire who moved with impossible grace as he drew his blade and threatened his very Knight. "Don't touch him. We don't harm innocents."

The Witch, who had never been called an innocent before almost laughed. The Knight did laugh, saying "move aside boy. Witches are evil and it is my duty, as a Knight to slay them. And your duty, as a squire to do as I say." But the Squire did not step away, and then the Knight lunged for the witch, the Squire swang the flat of his blade mightily, clobbering the Knight on the back of his head, knocking him out cold.

\---

Ash 

Once upon a time there was an evil witch, and they knew he was evil for his skin was green and he lived in a swamp. Ash had long since given up worrying about what other people thought of him. They were hypocrites, all of them, ignoring him when they saw him during the day, and then sneaking to his hut at night for potions they couldn't live without. 

But that wasn't fair. There were locals that liked him well enough, and he them. It was the strangers that were the problem, in particular the ones who invaded his swamp, disturbed his frogs and yelled dire insults while threatening him with a sword. 

It wasn't that Ash was defenceless, he could have easily turned the sword into a snake, or caused the Knight to sink into the swamp, but he didn't even have a chance before the Knight's very Squire took action instead. 

"You saved me." The Witch had said, astonished. 

"It was nothing." The Squire replied. But he was wrong, it was everything, and no one had ever defended The Witch, not like that, nor called him an innocent. "I told him you weren't evil the whole way here, but he wouldn't listen." 

"How do you know I'm not evil," The Witch asked. "I could be the wickedest witch that ever did witch."

"You're not though. I asked around about you. The only person who said you were evil was clearly just annoyed because the potion you gave him to make his vegetables grow larger didn't work on his meat. Everyone else was full of praise, you help them when they're ill and no matter the time of day or night you're there if they need a healer. But Sir got it in his head he wanted to kill a monster and he wouldn't listen to reason."

"Well thanks," The Witch replied. "If you need anything, now or in the future, please ask. No promises though."

"I'll let you know. I'd better get this lug back to town. I'm sorry for disturbing you. I didn't think we'd find you, I thought he'd just wander around lost for a bit and head back to the tavern." 

"Do you want him dead?" The Witch asked, his conscience getting the better of him. "He seems like a terrible person."

"Oh. No. He's my Knight Master. I just didn't want him to hurt you, and he would have."

"You're too good for him. Okay, don't move him then." The Witch approached, kneeling over the fallen knight, checking first to see he was breathing. "Don't hit people on the head, even with the flat of your blade. If it's hard enough to knock them out, it's hard enough to kill them. It's not like in the stories, or plays. The brain bleeds and people die, or never wake up right."

"I didn't realise." The Squire was horrified.

"Good thing for you, you did it in front of a Witch. I'll get him fixed up, right as rain. It'll be like none of it ever happened." 

The Witch was right, the Knight never did remember anything happened at all, much to his rebellious squire's relief. And the Witch never expected to see the Squire, who was the Greatest Swordsman he'd ever met, again.

Years passed.

\---

Tournament

The crowd burst into laughter as the swordsman yet again failed spectacularly. He was the worst swordsman they'd ever seen and it was hilarious, from somehow holding his sword from the wrong end - how did that even happen - to dropping it, to having it fly half-way across the area, and the Swordsman forced to scramble after it as his opponent tried and failed miserably, to stop laughing.

Humiliation burned deep within Alain but he forced himself to not give up, to keep trying.

Fabio, on the other hand, breezed through the tournament, easily defeating his opponents with flashy moves, looking stunning while doing so. His hair billowing, shirt half-open and half the audience swooning. 

"It's impractical!" 

"He should be wearing armour!" The knights grumbled. 

It didn't matter. None of his opponents were able to land even a dashing scar upon him, he was just too good. 

Fabio won the tournament without even breaking a sweat. "Easy." He laughed.

The Witch, who'd been watching in the stands rose, and tried to move through the crowds to congratulate his lover only for Fabio to completely ignore him. With a swarm of admirers around him, all fawning over his talents, Fabio was in his element. 

"Hey," a warm voice said. "Are you okay? You look sad." 

Ash glanced around to see who was being spoken to before realising it was he who was being addressed. "Never been better."

"You trying to speak to him? Might be better to wait until tomorrow? Was it important?"

Ash laughed, a hard cold sound, and shook his head.

"Hey, do I know you? You look sort of familiar?" Alain asked. 

"Have you ever need a cure rot-crotch potion in the middle of the night? Been looking for a love potion? Wanted a curse cast upon your neighbours?"

"No. Oh. You're the Witch," and suddenly Alain was beaming. "You look different. Not green? I mean is that rude to say? Was it just the swamp or..."

"Yes it's rude."

"Sorry then. I didn't mean to… can I buy you a drink to make it up to you?"

"So you can get me drunk and…"

"No. Just so we can talk. Well unless you want the other, you're handsome, although I don't usually with strangers. Or friends. Or at all."

"A Chaste Knight?"

Alain laughed. "Not really, just been too busy playing with my big sword to worry about the other one." The witch groaned and Alain laughed. "Sorry that was terrible, wasn't it? Do you know anywhere nearby that does good drinks at least? Are you sure I can't talk you into joining me?"

The Witch smiled just a touch, and it lit up his whole face, making him look almost beautiful. "One drink."

"One then. Lead the way."

As they sat down, in the bar with their cider, Ash asked. "You actually want to be seen in public with me?" 

"Sure. Why not? I could ask, do you actually want to be seen in public with the worst swordsman that has ever breathed."

"OH! Oh no." The Witch groaned. "I may have had something to do with that." He flinched but there was no yelling from Alain, no insults, not even any anger. "Not on purpose. Just, my boyfriend, he asked me to make him the best swordsman in the land, so I did, and I knew I shouldn't, but I did anyway, to make him happy and..."

"Sir Fabio is your boyfriend?"

"Is. Was. I don't know." Ash really wasn't certain. They'd spent so many amorous nights together after the first, so what were they if not boys who were friends. Well men.

"How long were you together?"

Ash ticked off his fingers. "Five."

"Five years? That's a long time."

"No. Weeks. Five weeks."

"Hmm. Do you want another drink? A hug?"

"Are you flirting with me?"

"With the witch who cursed me to be the worst swordfighter ever? You seem like you could use a friend. And I need a witch who can help me remove this curse, so we're," Alain immediately noticed the hardening of Ash's expression, and corrected himself. "No, if you don't want to help that's okay. I'll figure it out on my own. The offer of friendship's not conditional."

"Okay." Ash replied uncertainly.

"Hmm, I had a thought. Could you make me the best at the other sort of swordfighting?"

Ash laughed. "If you consider that fighting then you're doing it wrong."

"Already admitted I've never done it. But I'd disagree, the best duels are moving as one, in synch with each other."

"Like dancing but with more stabbing?"

"Oh I don't know, some of those dances I've been at had an awful lot of stabbing."

The Witch's gaze dipped down for a moment. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I'll teach you the other sort of swordfighting. No need for any magic there either."

Alain laughed, leaning closer. "There's some sort of poetic justice in that, isn't there? He takes my sword skill, I take his boyfriend."

"You're taking me, are you?"

"Mmm. Or you me." Alain shrugged. 

They finished their cider, and made their way back to Alain's room, which was a far shorter walk than the witch's cottage. They were barely through the door when they were kissing, and then so much more. It was hesitant, clumsy, and uncertain at first, but Alain was, if nothing else, a fast learner.

Yet he hesitated, in his disrobing of Ash to ask. "I know, I'm meant to be apologising for being so rude, but… you were green before and aren't now and I was wondering why that was. You're lovely either way, of course."

Ash could have lied, there were so many half-truths and falsehoods that came to him, none of them requiring him to show any vulnerability. "A glamour." He finally said, the how if not the why. 

Alain kissed his forehead, and there was nothing but kindness there and he didn't push any further, didn't demand to see the real Ash, or the fake one, or ask him to change at all, instead he teased. "So what do I get in exchange for a virgin sacrifice?"

Ash smiled, "we already negotiated this. Swordfighting lessons." And he reached down, to stroke the Knight's 'sword' only to have his hand swatted away.

"Slower," Alain smiled. "Please. I only get to do this once." The Witch, who was so used to being people's onces, and bits of weird did not expect his mood to be read so immediately. "Then again we can do it your way. Grab away," Alain was still smiling. 

Ash kissed Alain again, "slower then," he conceded. "If it's only going to be once, let's make it magical."

"I only meant first times are just once, but practice makes perfect and..."

THEY HAVE SEX! Happily. Enthusiastically. And while it wasn't perfect, it was fun, 10/10 would do again. And again. And again.

Later, after dozing, and waking up to kiss, and snuggle, and nap a bit. And Ash thought he knew how this went, that now, he'd disappear off into the night, never to be seen again, but Alain was surprisingly cuddly, and a light sleeper, and whenever Ash tried to extract himself, he found himself drawn closer once again. 

It was too soon to call it love, this thing between them, but Alain wasn't sure what else it could be called. Did he believe in love at first sight, first kiss, first so much more, first sweet words, and first breakfast and they should take it slow, get to know each other first. Let Ash's heart have a chance to heal. Let Alain regain his sword skills. There was no need to rush the rest of their lives.

Ash deserved roses and romance. An epic quest to retrieve a ring rarer than the tears of a star. A thousand poems each about how wonderful he was. There should at least be an introduction to families and friends and… "marry me?" Alain wasn't sure if that was what he meant to say, but when he did it sounded right.

Ash laughed. "Virgins. That's just post-coital bliss."

"You're amazing. I'm going to need a lot more lessons." Alain laughed. "So many more then."

"You're just using me for…"

Alain stifled that with a kiss, leaning over so he could meet Ash's eyes. "Nope. Not using you. Did you love him?"  
"Who?"

"Sir Fabio."

"I don't know. He was very handsome. And very good in bed."

"I'll duel him for you, if you want. To… blahblah honour, things, whyever Knights fight each other over, I'd fight him for you."

"I can fight my own battles."

"I know." Alain smiled. "And I can't anymore, at least not duels. I'd still challenge him though. Honour. Things. I think I got the much better end of this bargain. He wins what, a tourney purse, the King's respect, admiration of many. But I get what really matters."

"What's that?"

"A Witch that lives in a swamp and helps people, even those that others would think don't deserve it."

\---

Epilogue

"Sir Fabio, it's come to my attention that you've stolen my sword skills." Alain declared.

"Don't be ridiculous, how is that even possible?"

"Then can you explain how you're suddenly amazing at swordfighting, whereas I have lost all my skills overnight."

"You're delusional. And even if that was the case you should speak to the Witch, not me."

"Glad you said that. Fabio, I challenge you, not to a battle of blades but to one of kindness. If upon any day I perform more good deeds than you do, I will win the challenge and regain my skills. But for as long as you do more, they are yours."

Fabio grimaced, glancing around, his gaze then settling on the witch lurking nearby. Ugh. He'd looked much prettier normal, not green like the freak he was. There was nothing in the slightest bit attractive about that moss-soft hair, nor the leaf-green skin, or those very talented lips. 

The Witch pointed a single finger at Fabio, making an arcane gesture that sent shivers down his spine, and not the good sexy-kind. "So it shall be." There was a dramatic flash of smoke and then both witch and swordsman were gone. 

Fabio was left with everything he'd dreamed of. A large amount of prize money, the King's admiration, adoring fans everywhere, an incredible sword-talent, and no sexy witches.

\---  
,  
Alain laughed as they ran off down an alley, Ash following.

"I still don't understand why you didn't want things reversed," Ash said, breathlessly.

Alain grinned. "Lessons in morality. Maybe he'll become a better person. Maybe not. Maybe he'll spread more good in the world than I could alone. Either way, he'll hopefully stay away from you. It felt right."

"But you're a Knight, you spent your entire life…" Ash still couldn't wrap his head around why Alain would act as he did. Why he seemed to care so little for the thing he'd spent his entire life striving to be. 

"You know I didn't just learn the sword. I'm a dab hand with an axe, a shepherd's crook, a lance, a sling too. In fact there's few weapons I haven't dabbled in at one point or another. It's annoying, yes, but I'll get it back, even if I do it the hard way, day by day like I did the first time. And until then I've got much more important things to fill my time with."

"Like what?"

Alain swept Ash into his arms, kissed him deeply, his joy infectious. "Wooing you." 

Ash rolled his eyes, smiling though.

"No? Sword swallowing then. Might as well do something useful with all those swords I own." Alain joked, and Ash laughed.

The path wouldn't always be smooth, there would be ups and downs, but so much joy and laughter. They all lived happily ever after, because, together, of course they did. 

And even Fabio found his purpose eventually. 

The End


End file.
